When You’re Overwhelmed, Lost, and Tired of Being the Strong One

I’m just lost.

I feel like I’m always one inch away from a panic attack. My emotions are all over the place. Some days I’m okay, and then out of nowhere, it hits me—that wave of anxiety, the lump in my throat, the nausea that tells me I’m overwhelmed again. And the worst part is, I don’t even know where to start untangling it.

It’s not just one thing. It’s everything. I’m reconnecting with an ex—something complicated and emotionally layered. I’m doing my best to graduate, to not fall behind. I’m prepping for an overseas trip, which should feel exciting but mostly just adds more stress. I have debts that keep me up at night. I need money. I need to show up at work, to lead by example, to be reliable. I need to convince my family I’m doing okay—even when I’m not.

It’s like I’m being pulled in ten directions at once. Sometimes all I can do is focus on what’s right in front of me. But even then, my thoughts feel like static. I can’t process anything clearly. I’m scared—of the future, of failing, of being talked about, misunderstood, or worse, judged by the people I care about.

And honestly, it’s just hard being me.

For so long, I’ve held up this strong version of myself. The one who handles everything. The one who doesn’t break, who doesn’t show cracks. People look at me and think, “She’s a force.” And I’ve fed into that image—because in this world, once people see you as strong, they stop checking in. They stop asking how you’re strong, or what it’s costing you.

The truth? I cry. I panic. I fall apart—but only in the safest spaces, with my closest friends. And lately, even there, I feel judged. Like I can’t fully be vulnerable because I don’t know who’s really listening and who’s quietly keeping score.

It’s exhausting to be the one everyone leans on, when you’re barely holding yourself up.

If you’ve ever felt this way—like the strong one who’s secretly falling apart—I hope you know you’re not alone. You don’t have to have it all figured out. You don’t need to be perfect. You don’t need to carry everything in silence just to prove you’re tough.

You’re allowed to feel overwhelmed. You’re allowed to not be okay.

And maybe, just maybe, trying—even if you’re stumbling through it—is already enough.