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Showing posts with the label vulnerability

Have I hit Rock Bottom?

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  There are days when I wish life had a reset button. Not a full reset—nothing extreme like going back to diapers or elementary school. I’m talking about a rewind. Maybe a decade back. Maybe to 18, when I was still figuring things out, still allowed to stumble. If I could just go back and make different choices—smarter ones, kinder ones—maybe things would look better now. But I can’t. And here I am at 28. Not quite young anymore, but not exactly old. Somewhere in that blurry, confusing in-between. It’s like being stuck in a holding pattern while everyone else’s lives are taking off. The Lie of Having It All Figured Out At 28, there’s this quiet expectation that you should have something to show for yourself—a degree, a stable job, maybe even a relationship, a savings account, or a five-year plan. But what happens when you don’t have any of those? What happens when all you have is a pile of unmet goals, faded dreams, and a voice in your head constantly whispering: You’re behin...

A Beautiful Ending, or a New Beginning?

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  After almost a year, we met again. We saw each other. You’ve changed a lot — I told you that. You said I still looked the same. We had coffee, shared a drink from the same cup, and you agreed to come home with me — to the family that once called you their own. You were there again, and it felt so familiar. So soft. So quietly significant. We talked about life — where we’ve been, how we’ve changed, how the world moved forward even without each other. And maybe because I know you too well, I caught it. That moment when something you said didn’t feel like the truth. I didn’t call it out. I didn’t have to. I knew. Maybe it was a lie. Maybe it was protection — for you, for me, for whatever we still didn’t have the words for. But here’s what I do know: That night could have been the start of something new… or it could’ve been the closure I didn’t know I was waiting for. I love you. That much I’m sure of. God knows how much I love you — even after everything. But maybe what we sh...

When You’re Overwhelmed, Lost, and Tired of Being the Strong One

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I’m just lost. I feel like I’m always one inch away from a panic attack. My emotions are all over the place. Some days I’m okay, and then out of nowhere, it hits me—that wave of anxiety, the lump in my throat, the nausea that tells me I’m overwhelmed again. And the worst part is, I don’t even know where to start untangling it. It’s not just one thing. It’s everything . I’m reconnecting with an ex—something complicated and emotionally layered. I’m doing my best to graduate, to not fall behind. I’m prepping for an overseas trip, which should feel exciting but mostly just adds more stress. I have debts that keep me up at night. I need money. I need to show up at work, to lead by example, to be reliable. I need to convince my family I’m doing okay—even when I’m not. It’s like I’m being pulled in ten directions at once. Sometimes all I can do is focus on what’s right in front of me. But even then, my thoughts feel like static. I can’t process anything clearly. I’m scared—of the future, o...