Charm In Ink

I love him, but I am afraid. Almost a year has passed since we broke up. We once promised each other forever, shared inside jokes that only we understand, and made memories that still echo in my heart. Now, after all this time, I find myself reconnecting with him — a connection I thought I had to let go of. Keeping myself away, practicing no contact, was torture. But now, I want nothing more than to go back to him, to make us a thing again. I’ve asked him if there is someone new in his life, but he refuses to answer. He tells me he doesn’t want to talk about it. That silence is painful, confusing, and leaves me hanging between hope and doubt. I can feel the spark between us when we chat — something familiar and electric that hasn’t completely faded. But I also know I cannot read him completely, and I cannot jump to conclusions about what he feels for me. God knows how much I miss him, how deeply I love him. I cannot even picture a future without him in it. Sometimes I wonder — am I...

  There are moments in life when someone begins to feel like every move they make is under surveillance — not out of care, but out of doubt. She feels it deeply now. Supposedly, everyone around her stands as equals. Supposedly, they are her friends. But in reality, she senses something different — something heavy. To her, it feels like people are just waiting for her to make a mistake. Every action she takes is questioned, every decision second-guessed. She notices how others are given space to move freely, to make choices without judgment. But when it comes to her, it’s as if the rules suddenly change. The trust that others receive without question is something she has to earn — over and over again — and even then, it’s never really granted. What’s worse is how these people claim it’s all out of care and concern. But to her, it feels hollow — like a twisted version of compassion. It's as if they’ve become emotionless, robotic in the way they interact — driven more by quiet resentm...

I’m just lost. I feel like I’m always one inch away from a panic attack. My emotions are all over the place. Some days I’m okay, and then out of nowhere, it hits me—that wave of anxiety, the lump in my throat, the nausea that tells me I’m overwhelmed again. And the worst part is, I don’t even know where to start untangling it. It’s not just one thing. It’s everything . I’m reconnecting with an ex—something complicated and emotionally layered. I’m doing my best to graduate, to not fall behind. I’m prepping for an overseas trip, which should feel exciting but mostly just adds more stress. I have debts that keep me up at night. I need money. I need to show up at work, to lead by example, to be reliable. I need to convince my family I’m doing okay—even when I’m not. It’s like I’m being pulled in ten directions at once. Sometimes all I can do is focus on what’s right in front of me. But even then, my thoughts feel like static. I can’t process anything clearly. I’m scared—of the future, o...

Sometimes, I think I’ve just grown too comfortable with the way things are. Maybe I’ve stayed in one place—physically, emotionally, mentally—for so long that I forgot to ask myself if I was still okay. But recently, there’s been this unsettling feeling growing inside me. A quiet whisper that I no longer belong here. That maybe I’ve become invisible. That the things I do, the effort I give, and the heart I put into everything I touch are no longer seen or appreciated. I’ve spent over a decade in this space. That’s more than ten years of sleepless nights, of swallowing stress, of tears shed in silence. But also, ten years of laughter, of beautiful memories, of pouring love into what I do. I’ve given so much—but lately, I find myself questioning: Was it ever enough? Am I still enough? I know there were times my worth was seen. I know I’ve made an impact. I’ve had moments of being appreciated, even celebrated. But as people often say, “You’re only as good as your last performance.” An...

They say going no contact after a breakup is the healthiest way to move on — to protect your peace, heal your heart, and start fresh. I believed that too. But after ten months of silence, I realized my version of “healing” was actually hiding. This is what happened when I finally reached out to the one person I wasn’t supposed to miss. For almost ten months, I’ve been convincing myself that going no contact after our breakup was the best way to heal. No texting, no checking in — just silence, with the occasional birthday greeting or “Happy Holidays” message. I thought this was what healing looked like. I thought distance would help me move on. But I was wrong. These past ten months have felt more like slow, quiet torture. Every time I stopped myself from reaching out, I knew deep down that I wasn’t protecting myself — I was just suppressing how much I still missed my ex and wanted to be part of his life. We didn’t end on bad terms. The breakup hurt — God, it really fucking hurt —...

4 years. We spent 4 years together and all in a snap those 4 years were gone. I don't even know where to begin and where to end. I find myself crying myself to sleep countless nights. Its like an endless cycle of mourning that somehow repeats itself over and over again. Believe me when I say I'm trying, I have manifested nothing but happy thoughts, I have tried to keep myself busy and maybe that way I'll be able to forget and let go. I thought these mechanisms would work and somehow magically the pain would be gone but no, it's still there sometimes just pushed into the back of the mind and sometimes it's just there in plain view rearing it ugly head and wanting to shout from the rooftops all the pent up emotions that time and time again I have tried to push aside. When I'm all alone and the dust has settled on each day, I pray, I hope, I wish that somehow, someway you'll come back to me. Am I idealistic? Am I being blinded by love? Am I weak? I cannot let y...

The new year signals renewed hope and faith, sometimes even new beginnings, a time for reinvention, a time for putting it all out there, but this new year seems to be a little different for me, one chapter of my life seems to be closing and another just about to begin. I honestly have so much going on right now, that even I cannot track everything, I have found myself questioning my choices and decisions and maybe even regretting some that I made along the way. I came by the quote that to know when enough is enough is the strongest form of discipline that one can muster, is it the same for relationships, what does it mean to settle? what does it mean to let go? I have pondered upon these questions endlessly over the weekend and I still cannot find the right answer, or maybe there isn't a right answer.  Why do we stay in relationships? why do we try to find our soul mates or even our life partners? when the tears stop falling does that mean that we've had enough and that the lov...