Have I hit Rock Bottom?

-

 


There are days when I wish life had a reset button.

Not a full reset—nothing extreme like going back to diapers or elementary school. I’m talking about a rewind. Maybe a decade back. Maybe to 18, when I was still figuring things out, still allowed to stumble. If I could just go back and make different choices—smarter ones, kinder ones—maybe things would look better now.

But I can’t.

And here I am at 28. Not quite young anymore, but not exactly old. Somewhere in that blurry, confusing in-between. It’s like being stuck in a holding pattern while everyone else’s lives are taking off.

The Lie of Having It All Figured Out

At 28, there’s this quiet expectation that you should have something to show for yourself—a degree, a stable job, maybe even a relationship, a savings account, or a five-year plan. But what happens when you don’t have any of those?

What happens when all you have is a pile of unmet goals, faded dreams, and a voice in your head constantly whispering: You’re behind. You messed up. You’re not enough.

I don’t have a college degree. I don’t have a clear career path. I feel like I’m just drifting, and the world keeps spinning faster and faster without me.

Some days, it feels like I’ve hit rock bottom. Other days, it feels like I’m still falling.

Is This a Quarter-Life Crisis… or Something Else?

People like to call this a quarter-life crisis. But that term sounds too clean, too clinical. Like it’s a passing phase that a scented candle and a journal entry can fix.

What I feel is heavier. It’s the exhaustion of carrying regrets that never stop replaying in my head. It’s the silence of watching your peers move ahead while you’re stuck in survival mode. It’s the deep ache of wondering if you’ve already wasted your shot at something better.

And it’s also the quiet, stubborn hope that maybe—just maybe—this isn’t the end.

When Running Away Feels Like the Only Option

There are moments I just want to disappear. Delete every account, shut off my phone, and vanish into a town where no one knows my name. I dream about starting fresh somewhere, with no pressure, no timelines, no eyes watching and wondering, “What happened to them?”

But the truth is, no matter where I go, I’d still carry myself. The same baggage. The same unfinished chapters.

And maybe that’s the real work now: not disappearing, but staying. Facing it. Owning the mess. Finding the courage to begin again—even if it's slow, even if it’s ugly, even if it feels like I’m years behind.

What Comes After Rock Bottom?

I’m not here to preach a sudden glow-up story. I’m still here, still unsure, still lost most days. But maybe there’s a strange kind of power in admitting that.

Because sometimes, the first step out of rock bottom isn’t some grand decision. Sometimes, it’s just saying: I don’t know what I’m doing, but I’m still here.

And maybe being “still here” is enough for today.

Maybe tomorrow, I’ll take one small step forward. Maybe I’ll dust off that old dream. Maybe I’ll send that one email. Maybe I’ll stop comparing my timeline to everyone else’s.

Maybe I’ll figure it out slowly.

Maybe you will too.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Someday, I Shall Also Sablay — But Not Yet

-
Image
  When I left for Europe, it wasn’t just a trip. It was a mission, a commitment. I went as part of the Philippine UPR Watch delegation, carrying with me the stories of our people, the struggles back home, and our collective hope for justice and accountability. As the Lead Convenor of Defend Southern Tagalog, I stood in rooms and on streets across different cities, speaking not only for myself but for communities silenced and marginalized for far too long. I thought that after fulfilling this deeply meaningful work, I would come home to another dream finally coming true: my graduation. I imagined arriving back home fulfilled, tired but triumphant, and soon after, walking across the stage wearing my sablay — the symbol of years of hard work, sleepless nights, and unending perseverance. But life had other plans. I found out I wasn’t graduating while I was already in Europe. In between meetings, human rights conferences, and advocacy visits, I received the news that shattered me. A ...
Read more

When You’re Overwhelmed, Lost, and Tired of Being the Strong One

-
Image
I’m just lost. I feel like I’m always one inch away from a panic attack. My emotions are all over the place. Some days I’m okay, and then out of nowhere, it hits me—that wave of anxiety, the lump in my throat, the nausea that tells me I’m overwhelmed again. And the worst part is, I don’t even know where to start untangling it. It’s not just one thing. It’s everything . I’m reconnecting with an ex—something complicated and emotionally layered. I’m doing my best to graduate, to not fall behind. I’m prepping for an overseas trip, which should feel exciting but mostly just adds more stress. I have debts that keep me up at night. I need money. I need to show up at work, to lead by example, to be reliable. I need to convince my family I’m doing okay—even when I’m not. It’s like I’m being pulled in ten directions at once. Sometimes all I can do is focus on what’s right in front of me. But even then, my thoughts feel like static. I can’t process anything clearly. I’m scared—of the future, o...
Read more

When the tears won't stop falling

-
4 years. We spent 4 years together and all in a snap those 4 years were gone. I don't even know where to begin and where to end. I find myself crying myself to sleep countless nights. Its like an endless cycle of mourning that somehow repeats itself over and over again. Believe me when I say I'm trying, I have manifested nothing but happy thoughts, I have tried to keep myself busy and maybe that way I'll be able to forget and let go. I thought these mechanisms would work and somehow magically the pain would be gone but no, it's still there sometimes just pushed into the back of the mind and sometimes it's just there in plain view rearing it ugly head and wanting to shout from the rooftops all the pent up emotions that time and time again I have tried to push aside. When I'm all alone and the dust has settled on each day, I pray, I hope, I wish that somehow, someway you'll come back to me. Am I idealistic? Am I being blinded by love? Am I weak? I cannot let y...
Read more