When Enough Starts to Feel Like Too Much

Sometimes, I think I’ve just grown too comfortable with the way things are. Maybe I’ve stayed in one place—physically, emotionally, mentally—for so long that I forgot to ask myself if I was still okay. But recently, there’s been this unsettling feeling growing inside me. A quiet whisper that I no longer belong here. That maybe I’ve become invisible. That the things I do, the effort I give, and the heart I put into everything I touch are no longer seen or appreciated.

I’ve spent over a decade in this space. That’s more than ten years of sleepless nights, of swallowing stress, of tears shed in silence. But also, ten years of laughter, of beautiful memories, of pouring love into what I do. I’ve given so much—but lately, I find myself questioning: Was it ever enough? Am I still enough?

I know there were times my worth was seen. I know I’ve made an impact. I’ve had moments of being appreciated, even celebrated. But as people often say, “You’re only as good as your last performance.” And sometimes, that truth cuts deep. It makes everything you've done before feel like it disappears the moment you fall short. And yes, I have fallen short. I’m not perfect. I’ve made mistakes, had my share of flaws, and moments I wish I handled better. But should those things erase everything else?

It’s exhausting, this cycle. Of doing your best, only for people to highlight your weaknesses. Of always being expected to prove yourself again and again, while the things you’ve already done are brushed aside. The commendations don’t come. The recognition is absent. What remains is judgment. Whispers. The constant feeling that you’re being talked about behind your back, labeled a liability instead of the asset you've always tried to be.

People say, “You should open up, let it out, talk to someone.” But what they don’t say is how often those same people will invalidate your pain. They’ll compare it. Minimize it. Tell you how much more they’ve done, as if that makes your struggle any less real. I’ve tried to be strong, to show up, to meet expectations that were never clearly defined. But I’m tired.

• Tired of being seen only through the lens of what I lack.
• Tired of trying to be enough for people who don’t see my worth.
• Tired of wondering if all I am is what others assume I am.

So now I find myself at a crossroads, asking the questions that hurt the most:

• Where do I go from here?
• Can I still take it?
• Am I willing to keep hurting myself just to meet standards that keep shifting?

I don’t have the answers yet. But maybe writing this is the first step—acknowledging that something needs to change. That I need to change, not for them, but for me. Maybe it’s time to stop proving and start healing.

Because I deserve to feel safe in the spaces I give myself to. I deserve to be seen. To be heard. And most of all, to be whole—even if that means letting go of what no longer serves me.