I Regret Going No Contact After My Breakup — Here's Why

They say going no contact after a breakup is the healthiest way to move on — to protect your peace, heal your heart, and start fresh. I believed that too. But after ten months of silence, I realized my version of “healing” was actually hiding. This is what happened when I finally reached out to the one person I wasn’t supposed to miss.

For almost ten months, I’ve been convincing myself that going no contact after our breakup was the best way to heal. No texting, no checking in — just silence, with the occasional birthday greeting or “Happy Holidays” message.

I thought this was what healing looked like. I thought distance would help me move on.

But I was wrong.

These past ten months have felt more like slow, quiet torture. Every time I stopped myself from reaching out, I knew deep down that I wasn’t protecting myself — I was just suppressing how much I still missed my ex and wanted to be part of his life.

We didn’t end on bad terms. The breakup hurt — God, it really fucking hurt — but we said we’d stay friends. Maybe that was naive. Maybe I didn’t know how to navigate the space between “more than friends” but “not lovers.”

I kept asking myself: Do we really have to become strangers after a breakup?
That confusion sat with me every day.

Just two days ago, I finally gave in and sent him a message. I panicked and deleted it immediately — but he saw it and asked what I was trying to say.

And in a moment of truth, I told him: I had a moment of weakness. That he’s still my weakness.

Maybe I’m playing with fire. Maybe I’m sabotaging myself by reopening this door. Or maybe — just maybe — I’m giving us one last shot.

Is this risky?
Hell yes.

But if reaching out to an ex again means I might get hurt, then I’ll take that risk with open eyes and a guarded heart. Because now I know this: I’d rather face the pain of trying and failing than live with the regret of never trying at all.

If this ends badly, at least I’ll know I gave it everything I had.

If you’ve ever struggled with the silence after a breakup, you’re not alone. Healing looks different for everyone — and sometimes, it’s messier than we expect.