I'm The Kind of Girl who... ...

-
We can't
We can't back down (x4)

Not right now
We can't back down
Not right now
We can't back down
We can't back down

We can't back down
There's too much at stake
This is serious
Don't walk away
We can't pretend it's not happening
In our own backyard
Our own home plate

Goes the lyrics of the popular song from the movie Camp Rock 2. I just found that this lines reflects my life right now. I can feel fear and anxiety rippling through me as the final quarter of the school year looms to a close many would think that its too early to think about these things but not for me.

As a Junior high school student, I am indeed trying to do everything I can in order for me to pave the way into a brighter future part of it is doing good in my studies. For 3 consecutive quarters I have ranked 1 and with the Final Quarter looming to an end I'm now referring to it as My Finale performance for the Academic Year 2011-2012.

But with everything that is, Life is indeed full of What If's what If I don't succeed, What if I don't make it what if I fail? Just like in everything I do I always try to do my best, second best won't do, for me All I want is to be on top but what if that won't be the case for the final showdown?

Failing is in no way a part of my vocabulary. A victory is always a must for me. I am a very ambitious person who would not stop at anything to get to what she wants, I can go to really extreme measures to get what I want.

I hope for the best, and I'm certainly not ready for the worst

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

When the tears won't stop falling

-
4 years. We spent 4 years together and all in a snap those 4 years were gone. I don't even know where to begin and where to end. I find myself crying myself to sleep countless nights. Its like an endless cycle of mourning that somehow repeats itself over and over again. Believe me when I say I'm trying, I have manifested nothing but happy thoughts, I have tried to keep myself busy and maybe that way I'll be able to forget and let go. I thought these mechanisms would work and somehow magically the pain would be gone but no, it's still there sometimes just pushed into the back of the mind and sometimes it's just there in plain view rearing it ugly head and wanting to shout from the rooftops all the pent up emotions that time and time again I have tried to push aside. When I'm all alone and the dust has settled on each day, I pray, I hope, I wish that somehow, someway you'll come back to me. Am I idealistic? Am I being blinded by love? Am I weak? I cannot let y...
Read more

When You’re Overwhelmed, Lost, and Tired of Being the Strong One

-
Image
I’m just lost. I feel like I’m always one inch away from a panic attack. My emotions are all over the place. Some days I’m okay, and then out of nowhere, it hits me—that wave of anxiety, the lump in my throat, the nausea that tells me I’m overwhelmed again. And the worst part is, I don’t even know where to start untangling it. It’s not just one thing. It’s everything . I’m reconnecting with an ex—something complicated and emotionally layered. I’m doing my best to graduate, to not fall behind. I’m prepping for an overseas trip, which should feel exciting but mostly just adds more stress. I have debts that keep me up at night. I need money. I need to show up at work, to lead by example, to be reliable. I need to convince my family I’m doing okay—even when I’m not. It’s like I’m being pulled in ten directions at once. Sometimes all I can do is focus on what’s right in front of me. But even then, my thoughts feel like static. I can’t process anything clearly. I’m scared—of the future, o...
Read more

When Enough Starts to Feel Like Too Much

-
Image
Sometimes, I think I’ve just grown too comfortable with the way things are. Maybe I’ve stayed in one place—physically, emotionally, mentally—for so long that I forgot to ask myself if I was still okay. But recently, there’s been this unsettling feeling growing inside me. A quiet whisper that I no longer belong here. That maybe I’ve become invisible. That the things I do, the effort I give, and the heart I put into everything I touch are no longer seen or appreciated. I’ve spent over a decade in this space. That’s more than ten years of sleepless nights, of swallowing stress, of tears shed in silence. But also, ten years of laughter, of beautiful memories, of pouring love into what I do. I’ve given so much—but lately, I find myself questioning: Was it ever enough? Am I still enough? I know there were times my worth was seen. I know I’ve made an impact. I’ve had moments of being appreciated, even celebrated. But as people often say, “You’re only as good as your last performance.” An...
Read more